There’s a lot of talk today about making sure that people get themselves to the polls, about who will win what seat in Congress, and what it will all mean for Democrats and Republicans.

The direction our country will go in the future will be determined by the results of today’s elections, so these are important things to talk about. I want everyone to remember, however, that there are people who defend that right for us. Our men and women in uniform are the ones who defend one of our most cherished rights — heck, in several states that very right is being refused to service-members deployed overseas — and right now, they need us.

Project Valour-IT helps the wounded warriors who have given so much for us while defending our freedoms. Today is a great reminder of how much they’ve done for us, and what they give to us. Take today, election day, as an opportunity to give something back to them. They defend our freedoms, and the need has never been greater. Let’s not let them down, especially when they didn’t let us down. They heard a call to serve their country and answered it without hesitation; today, let us serve them. Donate what you can, even if it isn’t much.

Also, we have some very generous donors who have agreed to match donations for the Marine team. Between 2:00 and 4:00 this afternoon, we’ll be looking to raise $250… and there’s some incentive in it for you, too — if you like seeing bloggers like me embarassed, anyways! Stay tuned to find out what will happen if we raise $250 in 2 hours this afternoon…

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People always tell me, how cool it is what we do, but there’s nothing cooler than being a US Marine.

A lot of people look at UFC fighters — and athletes in general — as warriors. Think of the NFL alone. How many ads do you see that show football players, or hockey players, or UFC fighters, as warriors preparing to go to battle? Of course, while these men are obviously incredibly impressive athletes, they aren’t warriors.

On January 8th of this year, UFC fighters Gabriel Gonzaga, Marcus Davis, Rashad Evans, Forrest Griffin, former Marine Brian Stann, and UFC founder Dana White spent the day learning what being a real warrior is all about. They visited Marines at MCB Quantico, and it was clearly a humbling experience for them.

See, the difference between athletes and Marines is that Marines have to be warriors. They don’t go to battle and then go to a locker room when it’s over. It’s kill or be killed for them. They have to be the best they can be, because if their lives are on the line when they go to battle. It isn’t just a game.

This is somewhat personal for me. With my husband in Afghanistan, I can sleep well at night knowing that he, and the Marines he’s deployed with, have received the best possible training, and the best possible equipment, they can get. It’s life or death out there. My husband has been in an IED blast. He was lucky to only get a concussion. They’re in firefights constantly. They’ve lost two Marines and one corpsman. These Marines have to be warriors, they have to be at the top of their game, if they’re going to survive.

These UFC fighters got a taste of what all of this means, and how serious the training Marines go through is. Honestly, I thought that they would breeze through the MCMAP, Marine Corps Martial Arts Program. They didn’t. I thought that, as professional athletes, the Marine Corps obstacle course would be a piece of cake for them. It wasn’t. The Marines showed up these professional athletes, these men who do mixed martial arts for a living, in every way possible. These fighters were humbled by these men, these boys.

They showed them what real warriors are.

This is what supporting Project Valour-IT is all about. These men answered our nation’s call, gave all they had to give, and never looked back. At the time of their greatest need, we cannot abandon them. When these warriors have given so much to defend us and our freedoms, can’t we give a little to help them?

(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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So, here’s how the Valour-IT competition is looking right now. The Navy and the Air Force is dragging up the rear, while the Army is far in the lead. The Marine team seems to be stuck firmly in second, so we need you guys to jump on those donations!

And as some inspiration for you, here’s some Marines showing you just how to jump on it.

So, get those donations in and make that thermometer jump!!

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Principles, values, integrity, class… over the course of this election season, Charlie Crist has tossed it all away in his desperate bid to hold onto power. He’s flip-flopped on virtually every issue, claimed that the Republican Party left him, and stated that he’ll be caucusing with Democrats if he wins. The man who once called himself a Reagan Republican is now the man who will do anything to stay in office. But just how low did Charlie Crist sink this time? Well, he went so far as to offer Meek his sister’s cross as a bribe to get him out of the race.

» Continue Reading

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Right now, the Marine team is getting our butts kicked by the Army team in the Project Valour-IT fundraiser competition, so we need to step up our game and show them who is really number one! With that said, here are ten reasons why you should support the Marine team this year!

1. Marines have the best uniforms, hands down. Even our camis look better than the other branches (velcro, really?). And as everyone knows, chicks really dig a guy in uniform.

2. Marines know how to fight. That’s why they’re called America’s 911 force:

In the true spirit of “jointness” I offer the following as “Everything you need to know about differences in service culture. All in good fun, of course.

US Marine Corps Rules for Gunfighting

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a “4.”
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL Rules For Gunfighting

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Ranger Rules For Gunfighting

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound pack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from “Higher” to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Army Rules for Gunfighting

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on HBO.
4. Determine “what is a gunfight.”
5. Request more funding from Congress with a “killer” PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine ‘key’ Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets “strategic” and never deploy them operationally.
9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines.

US Navy Rules For Gunfighting

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Send the Marines.

KEITH J. PAVLISCHEK
COLONEL, U.S. MARINES

3. Being the smallest of the services forces us to be creative. Marines fight smarter, not harder. Jim Mattis wasn’t kidding when he said the Marine style is a blend of chivalry and ferocity: no better friend, no worse enemy.

4. The Marine Corps Silent Drill Team. Poetry in motion:

5. Tradition: we still celebrate ours. Mess nites, dinings in and out, St. Barbara’s day and the Marine Corps Ball: no one celebrates their rich history with more flair and elan than the Marine Corps. We still dress for dinner, we still pull out cigars and the smoking lamp for the men (and sometimes the ladies!).

We still light candles in memory of fallen comrades and those who have been wounded in the service of this nation. We do not forget. If you’ve ever been invited to a Marine Ball, don’t pass up the opportunity to attend. Those of us who have passed the quarter century mark may roll our eyes a bit, but we still go every year and still tear up when the same old passages are read. What began on November 10, 1775 in Tun Tavern is still remembered in giant ballrooms, decorated hangars, and dingy conference rooms all over this planet. Marines gather as one family to celebrate that which unites and binds us: a love of Corps, country, and above all, each other.

6. Esprit de corps: Which, as you should know, is no cheese-eating surrender monkey Phrench-sounding label, but something each Marine takes to heart on the day he or she finally earns the right to be called “Marine”. To call the average Marine a soldier, troop, sailor, or airman to is risk a speedy and ungentle correction. There are only Marines, an appellation which (unlike soldiers, sailors, or airmen) is always capitalized. Now *that’s* respect.)

7. Toughest mascot. Think about it:

Army: a mule
Air Force: a stinkin’ bird?
Navy: ummm… a goat
Marines: a bulldog. Nuff said.

8. Marine PT. Did the HVES mention that we’re just better-looking?

9. Marine wives. There is an old Spanish saying, “No hay rosas sin espinas.” I think it fits Marine wives well: tough, but tender; beautiful but enduring. On the day my husband finally leaves the Corps, my most precious memories will be of the officer and enlisted wives I have been privileged to work with, laugh with, cry with, and share this wacky thrill ride that is military life.

10. The Navy-Marine Corps team: as much as we love to rib the Navy, we couldn’t do our job without them. On any Marine base, along with green you’ll see Navy khaki. Navy corpsmen go to battle with us and dress our wounds. They are at once healers, life savers, and soldiers as tough and brave as any Marine. Navy chaplains pray with us and bury our dead. They weep with us and help us to try and make sense of the incomprehensible.

And it is Navy ships which carry us to distant shores so we can do what we do best: respond as America’s 9/11 force. They provide devastating firepower on target when we need it. We are proud to be a part of the sea service. But that said….until November 11th…

Beat Navy!

So for now, let’s show them what the Marine team is made of, and give until it hurts!

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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It is that time of year again — time for the annual Project Valour-IT blog competition! Each year, bloggers sign up to represent the different branches of the military to help raise funds for a great cause: Project Valour-IT. While all of the money goes to the same place, the team that raises the most money gets bragging rights — and as the team leader for the Marines, I’m hoping that the Marines will be the winners for the second year in a row!

Why am I supporting the Marines? Well, my husband is a Marine. He’s deployed to Afghanistan right now. We’ve lost Marines in our unit, and I have friends in other deployed units that have also lost Marines. Then there are the Marines who are not killed, but are injured — Marines who can benefit from a wonderful program like Project Valour-IT.

Project Valour-IT does so much good work for wounded warriors. Here’s an example of some of what they do:

Project Valour-IT began when Captain Charles “Chuck” Ziegenfuss was wounded by an IED while serving as commander of a tank company in Iraq in June 2005.

During his deployment he kept a blog (an online personal diary, opinion forum, or news analysis site-called a milblog or military weblog when written by a servicemember or about military subjects). Captivating writing, insightful stories of his experiences, and his self-deprecating humor won him many loyal readers. After he was wounded, his wife continued his blog, keeping his readers informed of his condition.

As he began to recover, CPT Ziegenfuss wanted to return to writing his blog, but serious hand injuries hampered his typing. When a loyal and generous reader gave him a copy of the Dragon Naturally Speaking Preferred software, other readers began to realize how important such software could be to CPT Ziegenfuss’ fellow wounded soldiers and started cast about for a way to get it to them.

A fellow blogger (blog author) who writes under the pseudonym FbL contacted Captain Ziegenfuss and the two realized they shared a vision of providing laptops with voice-controlled software to wounded soldiers whose injuries prevented them from operating a standard computer. FbL contacted Soldiers Angels, who offered to help develop the project, and Project Valour-IT was born.

In sharing their thoughts, CPT Ziegenfuss (now a Major) and FbL found that memories of their respective fathers were a motivating factor in their work with the project. Both continue their association with this project in memory of the great men in their lives whose fine examples taught them lasting lessons of courage and generosity.

In the years since its founding in 2005, the project has acted to meet emerging needs and its mission of supporting the the severely wounded has expanded. In addition to voice-controlled laptops, Valour-IT now helps provide active and whole-body video games such as Wii Sports, which is used to great effect in physical therapy, and personal GPS systems that help compensate for short-term memory loss and organizational/spacial challenges common in those with brain injuries.

So far, Project Valour-IT has provided over 4100 voice-activated laptops to wounded veterans. They also provide Wii game systems to help build motivation and speed recovery through whole body game systems, and handheld GPS devices to help wounded vets regain confidence and independence.

This is truly a great charity that deserves our help. So won’t you please donate a little to give to the warriors who sacrifice so much for us? Our goal this year is for each team to raise $15,000 by the end of the campaign, which is November 11th.

And of course, if you do decide to donate, you should of course donate to the Marine team. We’re usually one of the smallest teams, but we have the most heart!

Here’s how you can help support the Marine team to benefit Project Valour-IT.

You can visit the Marine team’s page, or donate through the widget below. There’s also a Valour-IT auction where you can bid on military books, memorabilia, etc.; the winning bidder can (unless otherwise specified) choose which team the funds go to. If you have a blog, you can sign up to join the Marine team here.

So, let the competition begin! Here’s a video to get your USMC spirits up, and please, get to donating!

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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What do you do when you’ve completely sold out all of your principles and received absolutely nothing in return? Well, you become even more entrenched in your hypocritical idiocy, and slander everything you once said you stood for. This is the route you take if you’re Charlie Crist, anyways.

Of course, everything Crist said in that ad was a complete lie. He used to love Sarah Palin. He once called himself a Reagan Republican. And he used to be pro-life. Hot Air has video evidence of all of this, proving (as if anyone had any doubt) that Charlie Crist is a man with no principles desperate to further his own career at any cost.

He was on Fox this morning making a fool out of himself as usual (hat tip to Cubachi for the video). My favorite part is when he gets asked, at 1:41, whether or not he would have switched to an independent bid had he defeated Marco Rubio in the primary. And he has no good answer for it, because we all kow — and Charlie Crist knows — that he wouldn’t have.

The more Charlie Crist talks, the more obvious it becomes that he’s nothing but a hypocritical, shameless opportunist with no principles. The man can’t even decide which party he’ll caucus with! He calls himself a fiscal conservative, yet he’s considering joining up with the party who is trying to socialize the country and spend us into the Stone Age? Yeah, that’s real fiscal conservatism. The truth is Charlie Crist doesn’t care at all about fiscal conservatism; he cares only about making sure that his own career gets furthered.

If he had been smart, he would have just conceded to Rubio and planned a Senate bid in 2012 against Bill Nelson. But because he’s a shameless opportunist, he didn’t do that, and in the process has very likely destroyed his entire political career. Where does he have to go from here? Nowhere, and frankly, that’s exactly what he deserves.

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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The infamous 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has made yet another controversial decision, with Justice Sandra Day O’Connor sitting in. This time, they overturned Arizona’s requirement that voters show proof of citizenship before voting.

Hey, we gotta make voting easier for those illegal aliens somehow!

The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has overturned Arizona’s requirement that people show proof of citizenship to register to vote.

The split decision by a three-judge panel determined that the requirement to show proof of citizenship — passed by voters in 2004 — is not consistent with the National Voter Registration Act.

Associate Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, temporarily sitting by designation, and Circuit Judge Sandra Ikuta, with chief judge Alex Kozinski dissenting, said Prop. 200 creates an additional hurdle, while the national act is intended to reduce “state-imposed obstacles” to registration.

The majority noted that Congress was well aware of the problem of voter fraud when it passed the voter act, and built in sufficient protections, including applying perjury penalties to applicants who lie about their eligibilty.

Yeah, there’s all this voter fraud and stuff, and voters already decided that this was what they wanted, but we’ll just overturn it anyways! Heck, why should only US citizens get to vote? Illegal alien votes would bring in so many more votes for Democrats, after all.

As Michelle Malkin points out, the Obama Department of Social Justice has been trying to keep states from ensuring that only US citizens vote in our elections. But this is a whole new degree of insanity. What we have here is judges that used the bench to endorse and facilitate voter fraud. It’s absolutely outrageous — and unfortunately, not surprising in the least.

(6 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)

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The Right Scoop posted this stunning video, in which Lisa Murkowski brazenly questions Joe Miller’s honor and deems him unfit to lead.

Clearly, telling a former Army officer that he is unfit to lead isn’t going to be a winning strategy for Princess Murkowski, as the audience reaction obviously showed.

As many of you know, Joe Miller is a West Point graduate. He served as an Army officer during Desert Storm, earning a Bronze Star for leadership in combat. Yet somehow, Lisa Murkowski felt it would be a good idea to twist Miller’s honorable military service around as a negative? She knocked a man awarded a Bronze Star for leadership in combat… as unfit to lead. It is shameful that a sitting United States senator would attack a decorated Army officer on the basis of honor and leadership, but apparently there’s no low Lisa Murkowski won’t sink to in her desperate bid to keep Daddy’s little present.

Meanwhile, what has Lisa Murkowski ever done to qualify her as some kind of leadership expert? Well, after law school, she failed the bar exam four times before finally passing it, became a lawyer, was elected to the Alaska House of Representatives, and then had a Senate seat gifted to her by her father.

Wow, what extraordinary leadership experience and qualifications.

Meanwhile, isn’t it a bit hypocritical for Murkowski to attack Miller on the basis of honor? Murkowski is the one who lost a primary, conceded the race, and promised to abide by the will of Alaska voters. She, of course, did no such thing and launched a write-in campaign, ignoring the will of the voters — exactly the thing she promised she wouldn’t do. Yeah, that’s real honorable.

Right now, Miller is trying to raise $1.5 million in a final push before the election. He’s currently at a little over $1 million. Maybe we should all donate to his campaign and make sure that Alaska’s version of Ted Kennedy be kicked out for good this time.

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Originally posted at David Horowitz’s Newsreal:

Sluthood wasn’t always considered a virtue. Most normal, rational people look at sleeping around as something sad and wrong. It’s not healthy, physically or mentally, it can be damaging to a young girl’s reputation, and it can also be incredibly dangerous. Women that sleep around oftentimes end up feeling used and regret their choices when they get older and decide to settle down. Other women end up contracting STDs, which may or may not be treatable. For these reasons and more, being a slut is understandably looked down upon — it can be genuinely harmful. Today’s pseudo-feminists, however, have turned that common sense logic on its head.

Sluthood is now, unbelievably, looked at in their eyes as healthy and empowering. Sleeping with random men every night is not sleeping around, it’s “embracing your sexuality.” This attitude has trickled down into our everyday culture, and it’s had an effect on young girls. Almost two-thirds of teenagers who do have sex end up wishing they hadn’t. Teens who have sex early are more likely to be depressed or suicidal. And while femisogynists act as if birth control and condoms makes sex absolutely risk-free, the truth is not quite as clear. The emotional consequences are clear; physically, the truth is simply that condoms are not foolproof. Consider that 1 in 4 teenage girls now have an STD. And pregnancy can only reliably be prevented through abstinence, something teenage girls need to know, considering that teenage mothers are significantly more likely to live in poverty and rely on welfare.

Does any of this sound empowering? While the slut culture hits young girls the hardest, it’s unhealthy for everyone, regardless of age. See, for example, how rates of most STDs have climbed since 1997, with the exception of gonorrhea. Chlamydia is especially pervasive, being the most transmitted STD in the United States. It’s especially scary when you consider that approximately 1 in 4 men have chlamydia, but no symptoms, and only about 30% of women get any symptoms. Then there’s herpes, which is incurable. Currently, 1 out of 5 women have herpes.

Yes, encouraging people that sluthood is empowering and healthy is surely a great idea. It’s not irresponsible or potentially dangerous at all! You could only… end up depressed, suicidal, pregnant and single, or with a nasty (possibly incurable) STD. Femisogynists claim that all this means is that we need better sex education in our schools, because condoms are clearly foolproof, and as long as you use a condom, you’ll never ever get pregnant or contract an STD. The truth is not so comforting. Condoms are not foolproof, and perpetuating that myth doesn’t do anyone any favors, as the cold hard facts show. But the pseudo-feminists aren’t pointing these facts out to anyone when they encourage sluthood, are they? This part of it, the dark side, is all extremely hushed up, probably because if most people knew these facts and statistics they’d be terrified to sleep around with wild abandon. And that’s exactly why the femisogynists don’t mention this part of it.

When you think about it, and consider the facts, slut culture is not something we should be encouraging. But who are the people who are pushing this sluthood culture so fiercely? We’re about to discover 6 of the strongest advocates of sluthood culture in America.

Jaclyn Friedman

Example #1: My Sluthood, Myself

I had never thought of my self as a Casual Encounters kind of girl. I’d read them on occasion, sure, out of fascination, horror, horniness. I’d even, once in a long while, in lonely desperate moments, posted an ad, not with the intention of actually meeting anyone, but because sometimes knowing you have a bunch of bad options that you’re rejecting feels better than feeling like you have no options at all. And it was that exact state I found myself in one Friday night last fall, after having been blown apart yet again by some minor rejection that felt so huge it sent me to my bed. I hadn’t showered or shaved or left the house in days. And so, glass of wine in hand, wearing a robe and dirty sweatpants, I posted an ad just so I could watch the replies come in and feel like I had some kind of choice in the world. That somebody wanted me, even if they were gross and I’d never want them back.

… I’m telling you this because our policymakers would rather girls get sometimes-fatal diseases than be perceived as condoning sluthood. I’m telling you this because it’s important for everyone to understand: Sluthood isn’t a disease, or a wrong path, or a trend that’s ruining our youth. It isn’t just for detached, unemotional women who “f**k like men,” (as if that actually meant something), consequences be damned. It isn’t ever inevitable that sluthood should inspire violence or shame. Sluthood isn’t just a choice we should let women make because women should be free to make even “bad” choices. It’s a choice we should all have access to because it has the potential to be liberating. Healing. Soul-fulfilling.

And here, in Jaclyn Friedman’s words, we see firsthand that sluthood can be liberating and healing.

Reading her post, though, ends up being incredibly sad. Friedman, who bills herself as a “feminist evangelist,” pushes the myth that sluthood can be empowering, but she seems to be saying something different. She says herself that she wants to be loved, she wants to be wanted, and sleeping around with random men is not going to get her that love. A one-night stand gets you that temporary endorphin rush, but you ultimately end up feeling hollow again. So you look for that rush again, have another one night stand, and still feel empty. It’s a vicious cycle, a quick fix that leaves you wanting in the end.

While Jaclyn tries valiantly to prove that sleeping around is this wonderful, liberating, empowering experience, her words ring hollow because you can see right through them. She comes across as bitter and desperate, someone looking for love and validation in any way that she can get it, no matter how unhealthy it may be.

Yet for some reason, we’re supposed to want to emulate her? Why, so that other women can be as desperate and miserable as she is?

Hey, maybe that’s the whole point.

Tracy Clark-Flory

Example #2: In Defense of Casual Sex

I’m a 24-year-old member of the hookup generation — I’ve had roughly three times as many hookups as relationships — and, like innumerable 20-somethings before me, I’ve found that casual sex can be healthy and normal and lead to better adult relationships. I don’t exactly advocate picking up guys at frat parties and screwing atop the keg as the path to marital bliss. It’s just that hookup culture is not the radical extreme it is so frequently mischaracterized as in the media. There is sloppy stranger sex among people my age, sure, but sometimes hooking up is regular sex with a casual acquaintance; sometimes it’s innocent making out or casually dating or cuddling, and, oftentimes, it involves just one person at a time. In a sense it’s all very old-fashioned — there’s just a lot more unattached sex involved.

Like most 20-somethings, I’ve had online pornography and unregulated chat rooms at my fingertips since I hit puberty. But I also grew up during the Girl/Grrrl Power explosion, which taught me to demand respect, and play handball (and, later, hardball) with the boys. And it taught me that I didn’t need to cake myself in makeup or teeter along in foot-disfiguring heels — unless, of course, I wanted to.

… As far as I can tell, these choices don’t form a pattern, other than a refusal to really choose. I was like a college freshman filling out the Career Center’s job placement questionnaire, making an enthusiastic check mark next to every box; except, in my case, I was checking off men. Most of them were great; others led me on and made me cry. In a few cases, I felt used, but other times I felt like a user. [emphasis mine]

It’s interesting that Salon writer Tracy Clark-Flory speaks of sleeping around as some kind of warped way to gain respect. She later admits that she and other young women are often looking for something more permanent — but that after two or three hook-ups, the men they’ve been having casual sex with run when the idea of a more serious relationship is brought up.

Can she really not connect the dots there?

She admits that she was able to find an “emotionally available” man… after she stopped her wild adventure into sluthood. Gee, I wonder if that was just a coincidence!

Meanwhile, when she was sleeping around, she often “felt used, or like a user.” How does that demand respect? If she is being used, then she clearly isn’t being respected by the men she’s hooking up with; if she feels like a user, then she clearly doesn’t respect the men. Meanwhile, we’re supposed to believe that this somehow will lead to finding respect and empowerment, and eventually, a “healthy” relationship.

Just, you know, ignore her experiences of feeling used/like a user, and only finding a decent man when she found the will to restrain herself. It’ll be better for you.

Heather Corinna

Example #3: Her advice comes from the fact that Heather Corinna is ANNOYED

Heather Corinna, founder of Scarleteen, an “inclusive, healthy, and sex-positive sex ed resource for teens,” writes:

So, am I a slut? Sure, okay. I am untidy. I have had sex with more people than some people consider acceptable, and on the bell curve of what folks report with a lifetime number of partners, I have had more than most. Since I have routinely questioned both my own values and character for myself all my life as a regular practice, and try to keep flexible, I suppose it’s also true to say mine are both questionable and loose. When you tell me or others something that is true about myself, I’m not likely to get my feelings hurt or be offended, particularly when we’re talking about things that have been my choice, like my sex life.

… I have had my work or the credibility of my work impacted by my actual or perceived sexual behaviour. But I also tend to experience a weird kind of privilege in often having little privilege. I figure if it isn’t going to be one thing, it’ll be another, so I may as well just be who I am and put who I am on the table. Like Janis sang, freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

Like Jaclyn, I have had times in my life when I have wanted an ongoing, intimate relationship and have not had one, though with me that’s rarely abstract. When I want one of those, it tends to be about wanting one with someone specific (or, let’s be frank: about wanting relationships where I can get some privilege and be spared some of the judgment we get while in other models). It’s fair to say I’ve usually been far more cautious about getting into romantic relationships than I have been about getting into bed with someone.

It’s interesting how in so many of these posts, the sluthood advocates themselves inadvertently end up proving just why sleeping around with wild abandon is not a good thing.

Earlier, I mentioned — and Corinna confirmed — that a girl’s reputation is likely to suffer based on her supposedly empowered sluthood. In Corinna’s case, she admitted herself that it’s affected her work. And this is one odd thing: femisogynists complain often about the “he’s a stud, she’s a slut” double standard. While the double standard is indeed abhorrent, it’s interesting that the “feminist” response is to engage even more in bad behavior like men do. Instead of trying to work to raise men up to a higher level, they seem to want to bring women down to a lower level.

And it doesn’t exactly speak well for your cause when an advocate for sluthood says that they’re more willing to screw a stranger than get into a committed relationship. It just further confirms the notion that sleeping around can be emotionally crippling.

Monica Shores

Example #4: 6 Reasons to Have Casual Sex

When most of us embark on a new relationship, we’re inundated with anxieties. We usually want to please the other person and we want them to think well of us, because we think highly of them and we want to make the connection last. Above all, we definitely don’t want to weird them out with our strange fantasies and turn-ons. We save that type of honesty for much later, when we feel safer. Many couples never share at all: lack of disclosure is the norm for married couples in a variety of ways, whether the issue is finances or hopes and dreams. In a 2001 poll, only 52% of male respondents and 62% of female respondents told their spouses about their sexual history.

There’s less at stake emotionally with a casual partner. This is the very target at which critics aim their arrows—how can women enjoy sex without an emotional connection?!—but this lack of investment can be freeing. It’s the same relative anonymity that causes some people to blurt out their deepest secrets to their hairdresser or a taxi driver. When we’re with someone who isn’t a fixture of our daily life, our egos relax enough to let a little authenticity come through. Rather than worrying about impressing the other person, you can be more assertive about what satisfies them in bed.

… But many men and women have had the sad experience of falling in love with someone who refuses to indulge in playful sex or whose preferences are entirely at odds with their partner’s.

The heart and the libido are by no means guaranteed to be compatible. (The New York Times recently reported that 15% of marriages were sexless, meaning the couple had not had sex in six months to a year. Casual sex bypasses this by concerning itself primarily with the libido, which is typically regarded as a source of shame and fear, but can yield its own profound and revelatory moments.

Shores, a writer for Ms. Magazine, Huffington Post, and Alternet, goes over the same old talking points: the prerequisite empowerment angle, the learning about your sexuality drivel, and claiming it will make you a better lover. What was most interesting to me, though, was the completely absurd claim that somehow, casual sex would be better sex than sex in a committed relationship … because your inhibitions are lowered, or something.

Reality, as usual, is quite different. Take The Case for Marriage, written by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher. They found that not only do married couple have more sex than single men and women, but that they had better sex as well. This wasn’t a one-time anomaly, either. This has been proven time and time again, such as in this study which found similar results — that married couples have more and better sex.

While the sluthood advocates would of course claim that being with someone with no strings attached means your inhibitions will be lowered and there will be less anxiety — leading to better sex — when you think about it logically it makes no sense (like most of the arguments made in the push for sluthood). When you are in a committed, long-term relationship with someone, there’s obviously much less anxiety because you’ve been there and done that already with them. You also know what the other person likes and have a greater connection with that person.

But owning up to this would mean that sluthood advocates would have to admit that even sex is better in a relationship, along with virtually everything else.

Therese Shechter

Example #5: Dear Abby, Ever heard of contraception?

I’ll spare you having to read the whole the letter which is about a young woman who gets pregnant in high school, marries the father, has the baby, gives up an education at a prestigious university, basically feels she threw away her life. This cautionary Afterschool Special tale is, I guess, meant to impress upon TGITGS the utter irresponsibility of having sex with her boyfriend. See what happened to that other girl when she had sex??

OK. There are many reasons not to have sex, especially if it’s because of pressure from someone else. And lots of people have less than magical first times, although it does get a whole lot better. But Abby’s answer is right out of 1950s.

Dear, dear Abby: I hear there are things out there called contraceptives. I’m not exactly sure what they are since our school won’t teach us about them, and advice columns won’t talk about them either. But rumor has it that I can have sex and not get pregnant if I use them properly. Not only that, there are also some pretty good ways to protect me from STDs. Why are you keeping them a secret? When did you join the abstinence lobby?

If TGITGS loves and trusts her boyfriend and wants to see what all the
fuss is about sex-wise, the advice Abby should give is “If you’re going to have sex, protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs, so you don’t end up forced into a life, any life, you didn’t choose.”

This was documentary filmmaker Therese Schecter’s response to a Dear Abby column in which Abby gives a 17-year-old girl some rather sensible advice about wanting to lose her virginity to celebrate prom night : don’t do it! Abby shares a story from one of her readers of what the possible consequences of having sex as a teenager can be. The femisogynist, of course, completely blows it off. (This is the same woman making a documentary entitled How To Lose Your Virginity.)

See, to the pseudo-feminists, having sex is A-OK as long as you don’t get pregnant. STDs are icky, but a baby is even worse. It’s yet another example of the faulty advice that having sex is perfectly safe and healthy as long as you use contraceptives … because condoms and birth control are foolproof and all. If you’re going to have sex, you absolutely should use protection, but giving girls the idea that it makes you absolutely safe is just not true. There’s always the chance that protection will fail, and that’s even if you do everything right. People also make mistakes in using contraceptives, which makes the chances of them failing even greater. But you won’t hear the femisogynists mention that in their rush to promise that sex will be hunky-dory as long as you just slap on a condom.

Then there’s the ridiculous premise that a 17-year-old virgin should give it up to her more experienced boyfriend, just because he wants to and because it’s prom night.

Yeah, I bet she’ll feel really empowered after that.

Jessica Valenti

Example #6: The Purity Myth

Some of you may already know that I’m working on a book about this culture of purity and chastity, and how it’s America’s obsession with virginity, not Girls Gone Wild and hooking up, that’s f***ing young women up.

Considering all we’ve discussed concerning the risks of sluthood — emotional consequences, pregnancy, STDs — I’d imagine we could agree that encouraging girls to sleep around and engage in the “Girls Gone Wild” culture is much more harmful than encouraging them to exercise some restraint when it comes to sex.

Yet Feministing founder Jessica Valenti and her pro-sluthood ilk proclaim the exact opposite, all the while saying that they have the best interests of women at heart.

The idea that we should teach girls, from a young age, that they should just do whatever makes them feel good in the moment is a ridiculous — and harmful — one. Whether a girl has sex before marriage or not isn’t the issue. The issue is that we shouldn’t be telling girls that Samantha from “Sex and the City” is a role model, and that having sex with no restraint whatsoever is no big deal.

And while Valenti argues that sex shouldn’t have any bearing on a girl’s self esteem, it doesn’t mean that it won’t, or that it’s “a culture of abstinence” making her feel bad. How would a 14-year-old girl’s self esteem suffer if she went to the doctor and found out she had herpes, a disease she had to live with for the rest of her life? Or if a 16-year-old lost her virginity to her boyfriend, who then promptly dumped her? Or if a 26-year-old had to explain to her husband that she’s had twice as many sexual partners as her age? I’d imagine in any of these scenarios that she wouldn’t feel all that confident and empowered. It doesn’t help girls or women to act as if these things shouldn’t or don’t matter. It’s misguided and harmful.

But you won’t hear Jessica Valenti, or her fellow advocates of sluthood, ever own up to that.

(22 votes, average: 2.77 out of 5)

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