Comments on: Joy Behar: spanking is child abuse http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse Smokin' Hot Commentary Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:45:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: TealRose http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-32103 TealRose Thu, 06 Jan 2011 23:09:09 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-32103 Yes, I was spanked by hand and a hard, leather slipper and once or twice with a belt, from when I was quite small. I was a very obedient, quiet child. Yet my parents believed that infractions such as spilling milk, not eating mushrooms, not eating all my dinner, and any other trifling thing was reason for a spanking. My mother was the most impatient of women and would brush my very curly long hair hard and I would ask her to be more careful, or would wriggle about and she would just slap my arms or thighs hard with her hand leaving huge red handprints that lasted for ages. She was always far too ‘busy’ doing housework as she was a complete perfectionist, than hugging me or playing with me. They would decide I needed spanking over some trivia, and would expect me to ’submit’ by coming to them and getting my pants down. This quiet, terrorised child, never did. I couldn’t and wouldn’t! [Didn't make a lot of difference after all, they were determined to spank me to make me scream - after a couple of smacks the pain was so bad that all the others just blurred into one agony and whether I was spanked for just 10 minutes or an hour really didn't matter.} After all these were the same parents that taught me that hitting wasn't acceptable!! These were there people that were supposed to love and teach me things. They would then yank me over their knee ripping down my panties, and lay into me. Never 'just' 10 or whatever no, I was spanked till I was screaming with the unfairness and hate, till I was totally weak. They thought that this meant they had 'got through' to me, or that I was submitting to the spanking. I wasn't ... I was in SO much pain I had no choice. And I learned nothing. [So many spankings for such trivia meant I can't really remember why I was spanked therefore I didn't learn not to do it again!] I was always in SO much pain, I couldn’t understand what they were talking about at the time. They would lecture me before and during .. and expect me to tell the truth. Trouble was THEY never accepted my truth as ‘I was only a child’ !! A lot of the time they spanked me for things I had never done. I learned .. to be terrified, that they didn’t love me, that everything I did was wrong and I wasn’t good enough [this haunts me still at 56yrs old !] I learned resentment and hatred. They alienated me and I still feel all of these things keenly. To the point that reading the above stories of spankings of children, my pulserate has doubled and my adrenalin has kicked in making me feel rather sick. I am a strong grandmother of 56 and don’t suffer from ‘nerves’! This reaction is to spanking. Whether one slap - or like in my case … hundreds. They did try the ‘its over and we love you’ speech .. but there was no way I could either believe it or allow them near me. You can’t cause THAT amount of pain and then be expected to have me say back ‘ thanks mum, sorry I breathed the wrong way’ and give her a hug! She often spanked in the day .. and then got my dad to follow up when he came in at night. He did for a long time… until he began to realise that this was all nonsense. He would come up …talk to me…. and pretend he had spanked me. I don’t know if she ever found out! I never spanked, and yes I had two difficult children who loved to stretch the limits. But we TAUGHT our children didn’t spank/hit them. I believe strongly that even one slap is child abuse. If I slapped an adult it surely would be deemed abuse even if I told the police ‘I was just ‘teaching’ my husband to take out the bin!’ Teach a child with kindness and it will grow and flourish. I am just amazed and so upset to read here how people who were spanked/slapped/switched/belted/strapped/paddled/boarded/wooden spooned as children can turn round and say that they ‘needed’ it and that they now do this to their children! That is horrendous! As for washing a childs mouth out with soap !! Don’t let me even start on that! My children are now adults and are kind, courteous people, and my daughter has two little children whom she takes care to TEACH right from wrong - not bully, or spank into submission teaching them fear and hatred of them or themselves. Also interestingly, my secondary/high school never used corporal punishment - and more well behaved, courteous, kind and generous girls you couldn’t meet anywhere! However, the other local school that DID use corporal punishment - the girls just were hooligans, in and out of school, and didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything! My hope is that one day … ALL countries in the world will ban spanking of any kind, bringing to an end a reign of physical and emotional abuse on our tiniest and most vulnerable members of society - and hopefully instilling in parents some idea of true parenting that takes time and effort and … kindness. Just because it has been done for thousands of years and is ‘traditional’ doesn’t make it right! So was slavery … and wife beating, and sending starving street children to Australia for stealing bread !!! Don’t take the chance and inflict on your little ones, the heart stopping fear that I suffer as an adult, when I see or read about spanking, or hear a belt being jangled and pulled through belt loops, or see someone innocently picking up their slipper in the typical spanking hold. I learned so much more through the kindness of my teachers [NONE of whom ever spanked me or gave me a detention - which tells you a lot about my behaviour! ] and grandparents. Wishing you all a Happy, Loving and Peaceful New Year - especially the children! Yes, I was spanked by hand and a hard, leather slipper and once or twice with a belt, from when I was quite small. I was a very obedient, quiet child. Yet my parents believed that infractions such as spilling milk, not eating mushrooms, not eating all my dinner, and any other trifling thing was reason for a spanking. My mother was the most impatient of women and would brush my very curly long hair hard and I would ask her to be more careful, or would wriggle about and she would just slap my arms or thighs hard with her hand leaving huge red handprints that lasted for ages. She was always far too ‘busy’ doing housework as she was a complete perfectionist, than hugging me or playing with me. They would decide I needed spanking over some trivia, and would expect me to ’submit’ by coming to them and getting my pants down. This quiet, terrorised child, never did. I couldn’t and wouldn’t! [Didn't make a lot of difference after all, they were determined to spank me to make me scream - after a couple of smacks the pain was so bad that all the others just blurred into one agony and whether I was spanked for just 10 minutes or an hour really didn't matter.} After all these were the same parents that taught me that hitting wasn't acceptable!! These were there people that were supposed to love and teach me things. They would then yank me over their knee ripping down my panties, and lay into me. Never 'just' 10 or whatever no, I was spanked till I was screaming with the unfairness and hate, till I was totally weak. They thought that this meant they had 'got through' to me, or that I was submitting to the spanking. I wasn't ... I was in SO much pain I had no choice. And I learned nothing. [So many spankings for such trivia meant I can't really remember why I was spanked therefore I didn't learn not to do it again!] I was always in SO much pain, I couldn’t understand what they were talking about at the time. They would lecture me before and during .. and expect me to tell the truth. Trouble was THEY never accepted my truth as ‘I was only a child’ !! A lot of the time they spanked me for things I had never done. I learned .. to be terrified, that they didn’t love me, that everything I did was wrong and I wasn’t good enough [this haunts me still at 56yrs old !] I learned resentment and hatred. They alienated me and I still feel all of these things keenly. To the point that reading the above stories of spankings of children, my pulserate has doubled and my adrenalin has kicked in making me feel rather sick. I am a strong grandmother of 56 and don’t suffer from ‘nerves’! This reaction is to spanking. Whether one slap – or like in my case … hundreds. They did try the ‘its over and we love you’ speech .. but there was no way I could either believe it or allow them near me. You can’t cause THAT amount of pain and then be expected to have me say back ‘ thanks mum, sorry I breathed the wrong way’ and give her a hug! She often spanked in the day .. and then got my dad to follow up when he came in at night. He did for a long time… until he began to realise that this was all nonsense. He would come up …talk to me…. and pretend he had spanked me. I don’t know if she ever found out!
I never spanked, and yes I had two difficult children who loved to stretch the limits. But we TAUGHT our children didn’t spank/hit them. I believe strongly that even one slap is child abuse. If I slapped an adult it surely would be deemed abuse even if I told the police ‘I was just ‘teaching’ my husband to take out the bin!’ Teach a child with kindness and it will grow and flourish. I am just amazed and so upset to read here how people who were spanked/slapped/switched/belted/strapped/paddled/boarded/wooden spooned as children can turn round and say that they ‘needed’ it and that they now do this to their children! That is horrendous! As for washing a childs mouth out with soap !! Don’t let me even start on that! My children are now adults and are kind, courteous people, and my daughter has two little children whom she takes care to TEACH right from wrong – not bully, or spank into submission teaching them fear and hatred of them or themselves.
Also interestingly, my secondary/high school never used corporal punishment – and more well behaved, courteous, kind and generous girls you couldn’t meet anywhere! However, the other local school that DID use corporal punishment – the girls just were hooligans, in and out of school, and didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything!
My hope is that one day … ALL countries in the world will ban spanking of any kind, bringing to an end a reign of physical and emotional abuse on our tiniest and most vulnerable members of society – and hopefully instilling in parents some idea of true parenting that takes time and effort and … kindness. Just because it has been done for thousands of years and is ‘traditional’ doesn’t make it right! So was slavery … and wife beating, and sending starving street children to Australia for stealing bread !!! Don’t take the chance and inflict on your little ones, the heart stopping fear that I suffer as an adult, when I see or read about spanking, or hear a belt being jangled and pulled through belt loops, or see someone innocently picking up their slipper in the typical spanking hold. I learned so much more through the kindness of my teachers [NONE of whom ever spanked me or gave me a detention - which tells you a lot about my behaviour! ] and grandparents.
Wishing you all a Happy, Loving and Peaceful New Year – especially the children!

]]> By: Todd http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-18941 Todd Sat, 10 Apr 2010 14:57:48 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-18941 Got 3 kids 6,8,9, all girls. We travel often to theme parks and I 'm terrified of abductions. Breeze my 8 yo constantly ran ahead of us or hopped into rides w/o telling us. At times we got worried the paging system was used. I never hit my kids before, but she was out of control and I was willing to try it as a last effort before seeing shrinks. Details are not necessary to satisfy pervs but a trip to our van, some handywork, , some love, some taliking, stopped the scaring me to death, she only got a few butt stings. Small payment for now giving her "the eye" is all we need. Got 3 kids 6,8,9, all girls. We travel often to theme parks and I ‘m terrified of abductions. Breeze my 8 yo constantly ran ahead of us or hopped into rides w/o telling us. At times we got worried the paging system was used. I never hit my kids before, but she was out of control and I was willing to try it as a last effort before seeing shrinks. Details are not necessary to satisfy pervs but a trip to our van, some handywork, , some love, some taliking, stopped the scaring me to death, she only got a few butt stings. Small payment for now giving her “the eye” is all we need.

]]> By: Trisha http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-15073 Trisha Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:19:45 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-15073 I've been tortured with that stupid spanking clip at work where that show was advertised WAY too thoroughly. I will avidly avoid it. A.) Who the heck is Joy Behar and who decided she was important? A loud-mouth does not equate intelligence. and B.) Spanking does not equal child abuse. No, I do not condone spanking at one. My little boy will be one next week and a "mean" look and a stern "no thank-you." is sufficient. I don't necessarily advocate spanking at any age-it can become an easy way out; but on other hand if it's a lesser punishment than, say, getting hit by a car from not listening an running out in the road then by all means a quick swat on the bottom will suffice. Some kids just need discipline in different ways for different reasons. I've seen situations where parents have laid such an emotional verbal lashing and guilt trip on their child that I've caught myself thinking, 'Oh geez, just pat their bottom and be on with it! Quit with the mental abuse!' So yes, maybe spanking at one is a little soon, but spanking-when used in moderation by a parent who cares is by NO means child abuse. Perhaps Joy could use a quik swat for making good parents feel like crap! "NO THANK-you, JOY" I’ve been tortured with that stupid spanking clip at work where that show was advertised WAY too thoroughly. I will avidly avoid it. A.) Who the heck is Joy Behar and who decided she was important? A loud-mouth does not equate intelligence. and B.) Spanking does not equal child abuse. No, I do not condone spanking at one. My little boy will be one next week and a “mean” look and a stern “no thank-you.” is sufficient. I don’t necessarily advocate spanking at any age-it can become an easy way out; but on other hand if it’s a lesser punishment than, say, getting hit by a car from not listening an running out in the road then by all means a quick swat on the bottom will suffice. Some kids just need discipline in different ways for different reasons. I’ve seen situations where parents have laid such an emotional verbal lashing and guilt trip on their child that I’ve caught myself thinking, ‘Oh geez, just pat their bottom and be on with it! Quit with the mental abuse!’ So yes, maybe spanking at one is a little soon, but spanking-when used in moderation by a parent who cares is by NO means child abuse.
Perhaps Joy could use a quik swat for making good parents feel like crap! “NO THANK-you, JOY”

]]> By: Bobbie Austin http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-15028 Bobbie Austin Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:34:22 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-15028 It was a pleasure to read all of the comments today on "pro-spanking." Joy had made me feel like a real idiot the other night. I thought that I must have been the only person in the world who had received spankings and had spanked my kids when they were young. This form of discipline is the most effective with children. If more of todays kids had received spankings, I'm sure the crime rate would be a bit different. It was a pleasure to read all of the comments today on “pro-spanking.” Joy had made me feel like a real idiot the other night. I thought that I must have been the only person in the world who had received spankings and had spanked my kids when they were young. This form of discipline is the most effective with children. If more of todays kids had received spankings, I’m sure the crime rate would be a bit different.

]]> By: paulette http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-14986 paulette Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:12:11 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-14986 i diffenitly do not agree with spanking a child it is abuse i know because i was brought up with it.the child will rebell.if they dont listen you take them by the hand and tell them to go to their room or try other alternatives without spanking. to spank doesnt show love it shows abuse is ok.if your child wont listen to you at all well your doing something wrong. i diffenitly do not agree with spanking a child it is abuse i know because i was brought up with it.the child will rebell.if they dont listen you take them by the hand and tell them to go to their room or try other alternatives without spanking. to spank doesnt show love it shows abuse is ok.if your child wont listen to you at all well your doing something wrong.

]]> By: GranPa Chuck http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-14837 GranPa Chuck Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:11:13 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-14837 To Spank or not to Spank will always be a never ending story... Here is a 1999 Court Decision that one may want to add to their memory banks: http://www.nfpcar.org/eBook/Spanking.htm To Spank or not to Spank will always be a never ending story… Here is a 1999 Court Decision that one may want to add to their memory banks: http://www.nfpcar.org/eBook/Spanking.htm

]]> By: Jon http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-14641 Jon Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:20:58 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-14641 I've been spanked as a child but the only thing I learned from the experience was to not get caught. I’ve been spanked as a child but the only thing I learned from the experience was to not get caught.

]]> By: sonja http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-14457 sonja Fri, 25 Sep 2009 23:36:08 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-14457 As someone who works at an airport which recently had a massive influx of women and kids, I'm all for harsher discipline than what appears to be the current norm. One woman was so busy arguing with a car rental lady (who never raised her voice), that her young son kept mucking about, resulting in hurting another little girl, then splitting his own head when he fell over. All she was doing to control the brat was saying sorry (???!) and calling him to come back to her. She yelled at the rental lady, but didn't so much as raise her voice at her wild child. Had he been my son, I would have kept a firm grip on him and given him at least a slap on the hand for the way he was behaving. It's about what my parents would have done with me. Heck, most of the people around my age have one proud story about their parents and a broken wooden spoon! As someone who works at an airport which recently had a massive influx of women and kids, I’m all for harsher discipline than what appears to be the current norm.

One woman was so busy arguing with a car rental lady (who never raised her voice), that her young son kept mucking about, resulting in hurting another little girl, then splitting his own head when he fell over. All she was doing to control the brat was saying sorry (???!) and calling him to come back to her.

She yelled at the rental lady, but didn’t so much as raise her voice at her wild child. Had he been my son, I would have kept a firm grip on him and given him at least a slap on the hand for the way he was behaving. It’s about what my parents would have done with me.

Heck, most of the people around my age have one proud story about their parents and a broken wooden spoon!

]]> By: Lorraine http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-14456 Lorraine Fri, 25 Sep 2009 20:57:11 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-14456 it's true, physical punnishment has been used by mankind from the beginning and while some people go overboard and cross the line from discipline to abuse, the VAST majority of us havent. I was spanked when I was a kid, when I deserved it, and I truly believe I'm stronger for it. ALL of my friends that I grew up with were also spanked when they deserved it. and just about everyone that I know today received spankings when warranted. but I do believe that it should be the last resort. maybe some people... the ones who habitually cross the line and TRULY abuse their kids should not only have their kids taken away, but be sterilized as well so they cant have anymore children to screw up. But stop criticizing the rest of us. it’s true, physical punnishment has been used by mankind from the beginning and while some people go overboard and cross the line from discipline to abuse, the VAST majority of us havent. I was spanked when I was a kid, when I deserved it, and I truly believe I’m stronger for it. ALL of my friends that I grew up with were also spanked when they deserved it. and just about everyone that I know today received spankings when warranted. but I do believe that it should be the last resort.
maybe some people… the ones who habitually cross the line and TRULY abuse their kids should not only have their kids taken away, but be sterilized as well so they cant have anymore children to screw up. But stop criticizing the rest of us.

]]> By: Mat http://www.cassyfiano.com/2009/09/joy-behar-spanking-is-child-abuse/comment-page-1#comment-14429 Mat Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:03:28 +0000 http://www.cassyfiano.com/?p=3018#comment-14429 Kevin, Well, considering that most people on this site have more or less agreed with Knott's analysis, I don't think your retort means much. Kevin,

Well, considering that most people on this site have more or less agreed with Knott’s analysis, I don’t think your retort means much.

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